Happy New Year!

The boys made it to midnight just as they did last year. It's impressive to me since I didn't make it till midnight in the midst of a party in which most years I collapsed on the floor in whatever room I happened to be standing in, until I was 10 years old. At 7 and 4 they have me pretty beat.

The last 8 minutes were excruciating for 4. Poor baby. He couldn't wait to go to bed and yet he's still awake.

He's not had the greatest of days. Four woke up this morning with hives. I've yet to figure out just what did it. I had purchased some new clothes for him which I didn't wash before allowing him to wear them, but this isn't unusual and he's never had hives before. I've been trying to think of everything he's ate and what not. Bless his heart he looks awful and the Benadryl the doctor told me to use has put him in the most horrible mood.

He's cried today because:

"Mommy, I miss Christmas, Christmas all gone now."
"Bubby _____ (Insert any of the following: hit me, touched me, breathed on me, wouldn't go away...)!"
"Mommy, you hate me."
"Mommy, I want two cookies, I don't want dinner, two cookies, and two cupcakes, I'm too full for dinner."

It's hard to believe it's 2010. Sometime about March I'll get used to saying 2010. Here's to a better year!

New Years

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Learned to care for twins by myself. Cared for twins by myself. Learned to run. Found an exercise regimen that I actually don't hate. Watched a boy turn 7, another turn 4.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?



Didn't make one last year.

This year...I'm going to make being healthier a bigger priority. Make me a bigger priority.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?



Yep

4. Did anyone close to you die?



Yeah.

5. What countries did you visit?



I have a feeling my answer is going to be the same on this one for quite a while: none outside of the country in which I currently reside.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Less stress.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 2nd 2009 Welcome baby Cole!
July 11th 2009 Welcome Sydney and Graham!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?



The commitment to weight-loss. And TWO babies!

9. What was your biggest failure?



The same thing I’ve said for the last several years: the moments when I’ve been less than the parent I want to be.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?



Yes! FLU

11. What was the best thing you bought?



By far, my ongoing personal training sessions have been the best money I’ve ever spent. Those sessions are continually teaching me I’m capable of so much more than I give myself credit for, and that positive energy has influenced every aspect of my life.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?



Whitney Houston - Welcome back girl...yeah you're stronger than you think.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?



Mr. West...I'm going to let you finish but...

14. Where did most of your money go?



Mortgage, Gym.

15. What did you get really excited about?

The babies!

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

Be Careful by Brooke White, since Graham LOVES it and I've played it 1000 times!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:


– happier or sadder? Same
– thinner or fatter? Thinner, a little. Stronger, at any rate.


– richer or poorer? Financially poorer, definitely.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?



Riding

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?



Stressing

20. How did you spend Christmas?



At home, just my little family and I.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

With Cole, Sydney and Graham

22. What was your favorite TV program?



Glee

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?



No.

24. What was the best book you read?

Can't remember.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?


Michael Buble

26. What did you want and get?

an I phone

27. What did you want and not get?

Peace

28. What was your favorite film of this year?



Avatar in 3D.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?



I think there was cake.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?



The kids, less worry.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Yoga Pants Every Day.

32. What kept you sane?



My computer

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Taylor Swift. You go girl!

34. What political issue stirred you the most?



Universal Health Care

35. Who did you miss?



Kids when I'm not with them.

36. Who was the best new person you met?



Alicia

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.



That I can do it, really.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.



isnt it sad we're insane, playing the games that we know end in tears, games we've been playing for thousands and thousands.....

I'm back!

I know your thinking I've fallen off the face of the planet, I haven't been around for shoot, a month, two?

Actually I'm doing better than ever at this new way of life thing. Three weeks ago I joined a gym. No crap. And hired a personal trainer. Who is a male version of Jillian off of biggest looser. He pushes me, till I think I'll surely die. Lying RUNNING up 5 flights of stairs, by the time I get to the top, not only do my legs feel like rubber and those last few steps are like nearly impossible to make, but I also Can Not Breath for coughing up my lungs. Ah, fun! Really it kinda is, and I'm kinda getting used to the way my body hurts the morning after.

I've lost weight, but I don't know how much, I'm only allowed to weigh with the trainer, and at first I have to wait six whole weeks before I can weigh with him again, then about every 3 weeks after that. I know I've lost because my clothes aren't fitting and yesterday I went to buy a dress for the Christmas dance, and I tried on the 2x I was wearing and it's a tent. So, I ended up buying a LARGE!!!

A few weeks before I joined the gym, I had a bad bike accident. I flipped the bike and could have hurt one of my kids, (thank GOD I took the force when he flipped over on ME)and well, my older kid was watching, and I realized that well. I needed to do something else.

The babies are older now and while they don't sleep through the night they only wake up once, sometimes twice, which is better than every single hour someone being up! Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and the day after I'm participating in a boot camp. Yes. I'm crazy!

Anyway, I'll be reading up on all of you when I get the chance!

Sunday Slimdown with Bloggest Loser 3.0

I weighed this morning and haven't lost or gained since last week so I'm not taking a picture.

It's been a hard week for various reasons.

Maybe I'll share later, maybe not, but to say anything now would disrespect my friends loss.

Paula (My friend Marti's mom) died yesterday morning. Only 62.

My heart is sad for my friend.

Sunday Slimdown with Bloggest Loser 2.2

I've given up pop for the most part. Have snuck a few a couple of days lately but mostly I've switched entirely to tea.

I'm trying to walk 10,000 steps a day but honestly I only accomplished that one day and that was yesterday when we took the kids to an aquarium.

Although I've already gotten more than half that many today so yippee me!

I guess the best news is - I'm down a few pounds.

Sorry

It's been a hard week. Harder weekend. Some "bad" things happened here.

Someone - some bad someone - someone we don't know came on our property and stole our camper (travel trailer). Someone stole from us, took something we loved and cared for deeply, that accompanied us on all our family trips the last two years, that cost a fair amount of change, that was the first brand new vehicle type thing I'd ever bought on my own.

Perhaps more importantly they stole my false sense of security. Someone stole my older children's ability to sleep nightmare free. Getting them to actually fall asleep is ridiculous. Every noise is the "bad man coming back" to them. I feel so violated.

We feel violated. And with police reports to fill out, and investigations going on, on multiple conversations with various officers and talks with insurance and talks of installing security what nots I've quickly become overwhelmed and totally forgot about the weight loss update. I'll come back tomorrow with some good news on that front.

Yesterday - Predictable

I fell off the wagon. It was just really stressful for a lot of reasons I can't fully express here, now, at least not yet, and so I feasted on a piece of pie to make me feel better.

Thing is, it didn't really make me feel better, not because I beat myself up about it, because, I totally didn't. But because it just made me feel crummy.

Or it could have just been a coincidence since my stomach is hurting me today also, and I've barely ate all day (a little bit of egg...no pop, just unsweetened iced tea).

So, the good thing is I'm back on, and while that pie was totally off the charts it was good going down and probably didn't really do me that much damage since I'm back on track (at least thinking right since I'm doing nothing drastic here).

Hope everyone else had a good Monday. Off too finish my Tuesday.

Sunday Slimdown with Bloggest Loser 0.1

Which isn't really a week for me, since I only joined two days ago.

So, today I weighed: 221
Which is exactly what I weighed two days ago, so I'm not going to bother with the re-measurements.

Today, I had a doughnut for breakfast (I know I know, it's just I was late getting up, late getting ready for church, late getting to church, we had to work nursery at church today so we had to be there early, so I was late for getting to church early so I just ate at church, which they have doughnut).

For lunch I had another baked potato, if you can't tell I like quick and easy and live close to a Wendy's.

For Dinner I had two biscuits and sorghum.

I know I know, I'm not too good at this am I.

BUT, I did cut it down to only two dr Pepper and drank two large bottles of water. Which is a huge step for me because I LURVE Dr PEPPER!!!!

I haven't taken a walk today, but I did go to Aldi's and walk around there. I've also went up and down the stairs 7 extra times for laundry and will be doing it several more times before bed (4 more loads).

****

Today I found out a great friend of mines mother, who's been battling breast cancer for several years now, is losing her battle. Quickly. Hospice is involved. Her cancer has metastasized to her brain. Also elsewhere.

I've been sick. I love this girl - and her mother was an inspiration, someone I'm so blessed to have known. It's just so hard to believe. My friend has little boys who need their Gran, probably just about as much as my friend needs her mother.

Letting go - it's so hard.

I know, I know she's going to a better place and yada and whatever and...I'm so glad. I am. But with my own experience, I know too well, when one you love so much goes to that better place, it doesn't feel good. In fact it rips the skin right off your heart and leaves you forever changed. Not to mention what the whole process, however it happens, does to the family.

****

If you can find the time...Pray for Marti and her mama Paula. Thanks

Day One:

Since this day be speak like a scurvy pirate day, (be it? seriously? thar be such a day?) I figured I'd message like a scurvy pirate.

So, day one: fer breakfast...eh didn't have breakfast. fer midday meal, I had a baked potato wit' fat free sour cream. From then I had fried fish dinner, but only a wee wee bit since I shared one plate wit' four people. Then I had another baked potato wit' sour cream. Thinkin' 'bout now finishin' me day wit' reduced fat peanut butter sandwich. Which got to get rid 'o 'tis bedtime snack, but heh, not this day.

***
I should be nice and link where I got this from right? I know, but I'm too tired so google speak like a pirate, or message like a pirate, or something and you'll find it. I did.

Blaming the fat on...

Me.

Not because my parents let me eat at McDonnalds when I was little.
Not because they didn't encourage me to eat less.
Not because they always made sweets assessable.

Not because I spent most of my teenage years DEPRESSED.
Not because food was my best friend, hell sometimes it was my only friend.
Not because of my genes.
Not because of kids.
Not because of tragedy's that have happened to me and my family.

No, just because I ate more than I should have.
Because I never workout.
Because I sit too much.

I didn't just get fat.
I let myself get fat.

Now, I'm going to have to make myself get thinner.

Don't get me wrong I DON'T have any stupid ideas of being thin.

I've lost 92 pounds in the past (used to weigh a great deal more 300+).
I know it doesn't really change anything but the clothes you can wear and how comfortable you are on a roller coaster.

I know it wont magically make all my problems go away.

But I also know I'll feel better. And to me, to me and these kids. That makes it worth it.

Obsessed with the scale. (updated)

Went to the fall festival. Got points for walking right past the cotton candy even though I could totally taste it just looking at it. Did get fried fish, but shared the smallish plate with 4 people so what I actually consumed wasn't a huge amount. Got Lemon Shakeup but it's not like I go to the festival everyday. Got a baked potato and chose the fat free sour cream and couldn't even tell the difference. Walked...a lot, and had a great time.


I love how you weigh differently 1000's of times each day.

This morning I weighed and I already, just from sleeping, weighed two pounds less. Ha, haha.

****

Because life isn't always about how big you are, I'm looking for a fun thing to do today with the kids.

Fall festival, of course, how wonderful!

There are so many things to do at fall festivals, corn mazes, mile high hay slides, petting zoos, hay rides. SO. Much. Fun.

Also, Kettle corn. Corn Dogs. Apple Pies. Apple Butter. Carmel apple. Oh be still my sweet tooth!

So - much - temptation.

****

I'll let myself have something. Otherwise life just might not be worth living.

In the beginning

I was really fat. Hopefully in a few months this will just melt away to nothing.




















Please be distracted by worlds most beautiful baby boy.













Now, be distracted by worlds most beautiful babies.














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